The Hardest Thing I Have Ever Done

It's been 24 hours since I ran the Harrisburg Marathon, and I have been trying to decide if saying that it's the hardest thing I've ever done is an overstatement. But I think it's probably correct to say that the last nine miles of this race were the mentally and physically most taxing accomplishment of my 32 years. In my four years of high school football I'm sure I came close to the physical fatigue of this race, but I did not have the mental anguish. Conversely, my graduate studies posed signnificant mental hurdles, but you don't have to jog 26 miles when writing your 80 page paper. So I think it's safe to say the last nine miles of this marathon have no true equal in my life.

The race was fun for the first 13 miles. It was a beautiful day: 63 degrees, partly sunny, no wind, fall colors, lots of cheering spectators including my wife, who surprised me by showing up several times throughout the course. She has really been a great support in this whole journey and it was awesome to have her there.

But I made a few rookie mistakes that really cost me near the end of the race.

The first mistake was starting too close to the front of the pack. I run 10 minute miles pretty consistently, but I started near people who ran nine minute miles or faster. So I was being passed quite a bit, and mentally that caused me to speed up, because it felt like I was going in slow motion. At the five mile mark I was at 45 minutes. That's a nine minute mile. I should have been a half mile back. I was using too much energy trying to maintain a pace for which I hadn't trained.

My second mistake was failing to walk at the water stations long enough. In training I walked for a full minute. But again, no one in the race was walking at the water stations, so I felt compelled, for no reason at all, to walk less at the water.

My third and most fatal mistake was trusting the race organizers when they said there would be gel packs available at the water stations after 13 miles. Gel is a small pack of high carbohydrate and electrolyte ooze that you eat while running to give your muscles energy. Long distance runners have to eat to keep going. I trusted that the gel would be there, but it wasn't. I got one pack at mile 13, but after that no other station had any gel. By mile 17 I could tell I was out of fuel. That's when I started to pray that God would give me strength to finish the final nine miles without the necessary energy. Miles 18-20 were all hills. When I got through those hills I was completely drained without any hope of refueling, and I still had to run six miles.

The final six miles I was in severe pain. Every muscle hurt, including my arms. A headache was forming due to the lack of calories. Everything in me told me to stop, and I had to battle through those thoughts. At one point I just had to tell myself to stop feeling bad about not having the calories, that nothing was going to change my situation, and that if I stopped moving I wouldn't start again. So at mile 21 I just started pushing myself and preaching at myself not to quit moving for any reason. It was a pretty surreal moment.

When I crossed the finish line, all I can remember is people cheering followed by people asking me if I was ok. I must have looked pretty sapped. Rachel came and gave me a big hug, put my medal around my neck, and wrapped a solar blanket around me. At first I couldn't enjoy it because I thought I was going to be sick or collapse. Neither happened.

A friend recently said if you can run a marathon you can do anything. It does feel a little like that now. Right now I can barely stand up, but in a few days I'll be back at it and, who knows, I might even sign up for another one.

Paranoia: 2 Days to 26.2 miles

Even writing this post is adding to the paranoia.


I have a bad back. Normally it's fine, but about twice a year I'll be doing something really strenuous, like breathing or sitting, and all of the sudden my back will wrench itself in some horrible way, forcing me to lay flat for a couple of days. No joke. One time I was eating dinner with some friends. Mid-sentence I was raising my fork to my mouth and it threw my back out.


So since the beginning of this week I have been paranoid that I'll do something totally normal and injure myself before running this marathon. And then 18 weeks of vigorous training will culminate in nothing but a back injury incurred while sleeping (again, I'm not kidding, three weeks ago I tweaked my back while sleeping.)


So if you think of me over the next two days, ask God to protect me from myself until at least Sunday afternoon. Thankfully, I did not injure myself typing this post.

Carb Loading: 4 Days to 26.2 Miles

So this has to be the best/worst week of marathon training. It's like one of those old "Got Milk" commercials. Allow me to explain.

This week I train like a sumo wrestler: I'm supposed to eat carbohydrate rich foods like bread, fruit, pasta, and other stuff that would make Dr. Atkins cringe. I also don't have to run very much. The idea is to fill my muscles with glucose so that I have the energy I need for the race. I'm like a squirrel preparing for winter.

But the problem is that I don't really want to eat. I'm too nervous, so nothing sounds very good. So while I would normally enjoy eating, especially during a week when I can write it off as part of my "athletic lifestyle," I'm not in the mood for anything. So much to eat, but I can't enjoy it. Got milk?

6 Days to 26.2 Miles

This is it. Game week. I've been training for 17 weeks, and next Sunday is the day I run the Harrisburg Marathon. I must admit I'm pretty nervous. But over the last 17 weeks I've learned a few things that have kept me going, and I thought I would share them.

1. I Can Do This

My biggest hesitation back in May/June when I was wringing my hands was the thought, "I really don't think I can do this." The longest I had ever ran was 7 miles, and I knew what that felt like. So I put running 26.2 miles on par with learning to fly an airplane or running for president: a nice idea but not really feasible. At one point early in the training I had to stop 2 times during a 3 mile run because I thought I was going to collapse. I thought a marathon was a fairytale that day.

But now an 8 mile run seems short. Two weeks ago I ran 40 miles during the week, 20 of that at one time! I am simply amazed how discipline can prepare us for the unimaginable.

2. I Can Change

Back in April my doctor said something I thought I would never hear: "Kyle, you're slightly overweight." That was a first, and it pretty much ruined that day for me. Over the last 3-4 years or so I put on 25 pounds, taking me out of my ideal range. But I learned I don't have to accept this as "the new me." Like they say, if you burn more calories than you eat, you will lose weight. And sure enough, I've lost 20 pounds in 17 weeks. I'm at my high school weight! For me it took setting a goal other than weight loss. But I've learned that if I can get the right goal, I can change.

3. Exercise Takes Planning

If I have a long day at work and a long run scheduled, guess which one gets compromised. I figured out that if I'm going to actually run (not just say I am) I have to have both a schedule and a plan for accomplishing it. Of course, the fear of entering a marathon I can't finish keeps me pretty motivated. I'm now really careful to find the time I need to exercise.

4. Physical Fitness is Part of Discipleship

This one deserves its own blog post, but I'll summarize it here. God did not make disembodied spirits. The human body is not a result of the Fall, no matter how bad some of them look. He made us out of matter and breathes life into us. That makes our bodies important, and as unpopular as it is to say it in the church, the disregard many followers of Jesus show for their weight is sinful. Caring for our body is as much a stewardship issue as tithing faithfully or serving in the children's ministry. If God gives it to us, we need to care for it.

I knew this before I started running, but I have really learned it through the whole experience. Beyond health issues, staying fit has given me more energy, which means all the other stuff I do in life as worship to the Lord is higher quality, and that certainly affects my growth in Christ.

The Two Fisted, All American, Red Blooded, Heavy Weight Championship Run for Liberty, Justice, and the American Way

Early this morning I lived the dream. But before I can tell you about it I need to explain three things. First, I'm in Philadelphia currently, studying for two weeks at Westminster Theological Seminary as I begin my doctorate program. Second, I'm in week 6 of an 18 week marathon training program. Third, and most importantly, I am a huge fan of Rocky. It's my favorite movie (the first one, if you're wondering.) So if you combine these ingredients, some of you will probably know where I'm going with this.

This morning I got up at 5am, cracked 5 eggs into a glass (ok, I had cereal,) jumped in my car, and headed to central Philly for the best 7 mile run on the planet for a Rocky fan. Like the jewel in the center of the ring, the run was made perfect by living out one of the best scenes in cinematic history. But, the rest of the run was pretty great too. In fact, I think it would be pretty tough to come up with a 7-mile running route that includes more history central to our country than the one I made today. Here is a list in order of everything I passed along the way.

Penn's Landing

I started at the base of the bridge that takes you over to the shore at Penn's Landing, where all the ships are docked. I got started at about 6:30am. No one was on the street, and there was almost no traffic, making this an ideal starting point.

Benjamin Franklin's Post Office and Print Shop

A few blocks down on the left is Ben Franklin's home and work complex. It's a very cool replica of his post office and printing shop. In the shop you can actually buy type-set prints of the Declaration of Independence. The remains of his actual house can also be viewed.




Independence Hall

This is the building where both the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution were signed. If you take the tour, you can sit in the rooms that housed the First Continental Congress.




The Liberty Bell

As you pass Independence Hall on your left, to your right is a nice view of the Liberty Bell. Did I mention this run was historic? On this jog, history wraps around you like a Snuggie.







City Hall

At this point we pass from history to pseudo-history. Philadelphia City Hall is certainly important in it's own right, but for me its real importance is the fact that in Rocky's training montage, he runs right through here. This was when Gonna Fly Now started playing through my head. I started to pick up the pace.


Philadelphia Museum of Art
I approached the historic steps from the left, dodging a few cars. I took them two at a time at full speed. There are a lot of steps! I was panting pretty heavily when I got to the top, but was it ever worth it! I turned around and gazed out over the city. It is a very cool view from up there.

Now, I was debating whether or not to throw my hands up in true Rocky fashion and jump up and down, but I must admit that I didn't. There were quite a number of other joggers and cyclists there, and none of them were carrying on like that. I decided not to be the guy who looked like a tourist, since, after all, I am actually training for something. But it really didn't take away from the experience. I couldn't stop smiling. The Rocky statue sits at the base of the steps and I ran past it as I continued my journey



The German Society of Pennsylvania
I then ran down Spring Garden St., which is anything but spring or garden-like. In fact, if I were to change anything about this run, I would probably alter the route at this point. However, I did pass the German Society of Pennsylvania, which, from the first sentence of the plaque I read as I ran by, I learned was a society to help German immigrants get the help they needed to live in America. It's historic, but wholly unimpressive. Not worth a picture.


Chinatown
I ran through the heart of Chinatown, which was kinda cool, but it's not nearly as big or colorful as the Chinatown in Washington D.C. Still, I was glad to see it, and there were at least three restaurants that grabbed my attention.



Christ Church
You'd think after a run so chock full of American goodness I couldn't fit one more stop. But alas, Penn's Landing is right next to Christ Church, where I parked. This is the church George Washington, Ben Franklin, and Betsy Ross attended, along with 15 signers of the Declaration of Independence. What did I do here, you ask? Cool down exercises in the courtyard, of course. Nothing completes the ultimate American run like quad stretches where the fathers of our country worshiped.